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Swinsto
7th October 2007
Team :
Mick,
Glen, Mike, Sam, Doug, Linda, John and
Ian.
We
arrived in Ingleton at around 9:00am where we
discovered (to Doug’s delight
and to Linda’s horror) that
the village was hosting a “folk music” weekend.
There were bands playing in the centre of the village even though it was
only 9:00am on Sunday.
We
scurried quickly into Bernie’s café were we all feasted on hearty breakfasts
and mugs of tea and we regaled ourselves with tales of previous visits
(well, those of whom had been before) in a blatant effort to drown out the
folk singers who were singing about the simple things in life through a
£40,000 PA system just outside.
Fully fed
and ready we set off to the cave where we arrived around 10:00am.
There
were other cavers already there who were going through Swinsto but their
parties being smaller than ours and they already being ready for the “off”,
no problem was envisaged (and no problem materialised later).
 We
readied ourselves and began the ascent of the overlooking hill (more like a
darn mountain!). The temperature was hot and the breeze non-existent. Naked
hill climbing was the best option but only John managed that in part.
 We
arrived (finally) at the entrance which was completely impossible to find
unless you had been there a significant number of times previously and had
been able to count the blades of grass between the peak of the hill and the
entrance some hundreds of yards further on along the plateau.
 Captain
Mick advised not to wear harnesses at first as there was a very long flat
crawl before the 1st pitch and he entered the system with his in
his bag. Doug & Ian heeded the advice of the illustrious captain and
followed suit. The other team members ignored the advice and kitted up prior
to the long flat crawl to the first pitch.
On
entering the cave, we crawled within the stream on hands and knees for
around 30 feet to the first pitch where our captain announced (with
surprise) "I don’t remember this pitch being here".
 The hands
& knees crawl was exactly that and so Doug & Ian played a game of twister in
a virtually futile attempt to get their kit on. This also caused water to
enter parts of the body through openings of the clothes that were not
expecting to be filled with water. Hum.
The pitch
was rigged and, one by one, we descended.
 At the
bottom of the first pitch we were met by Glen whose helmet appeared to be on
fire. Although it appeared we had entered the deep mines of Moria and had
happened upon a wandering fire-breathing Balrog – we were safe as it was
only Glen engulfing the deep in fire and flame.
 Next we
endured the long flat belly crawl which allowed for hands & knees at times.
This tunnel was very similar to the chocolate milkshake tubes of Peak cavern
but without any milkshake as the fast running stream kept the tunnel crisp
and clean. Under knee and belly was wrought with difficulty as the floor was
unevenly scalloped and knee pads were absolutely essential.
The
passage went on and on and on and on and on and on and on…. Autumn passed to
Winter passed onto to Sumner (giving Spring a miss) and back to Autumn and
then we arrived at the next pitch.
Over each
pitch flowed a waterfall – the trick was always to stay out of the water but
this was never possible. Even the best swing away from the water while
descending would cause the best swing back into the water.
 Halfway
through the series of waterfall pitches and tunnels we happened upon a bed
of moonmilk. This bed was well laid and the encrustation was thick and
crisp. This source of mana had been untapped for many an age and we passed
by in awe.
The next
pitch was a split pitch (and cascading waterfall) with a
 difficult half-way
changeover. Here the “draught” was a “gale” and speed was more
important
here than any other part of the system.
Obviously this is where the rope
snagged on de-rigging (and caused a delay in the worst possible place). It
was resolved to cut the rope and take what we could with Dougie’s penknife
(no rational reason can be found for Doug’s decision to bring a penknife
into the system except that it did prove useful after all!).
 Only a
short distance further
and one more
waterfalling pitch we came across an
unidentifiable life form in a small pool of water.
The creature was a little
over an inch in length, walked around in the water (made no effort to swim)
at the base of the pool and sported a black and white sectioned body (like a
bumble bee (but black & white obviously). It’s rear end hosted what
appeared to be a “fork” or the pincers of a crab.
It did
not move quickly and seemed uninterested in our presence. Mike attempted to
catch the critter but the process muddied the water and it became invisible
and lost in the pool. Some film footage has been captured and the creature
can be seen in the UCET movie.
 We moved
onwards to a small “still” pooled area where another rigging was attached to
a short descent. At this juncture some members stopped and resolved to have
hot drinks while Doug produced a pork pie the size of Saturn. The team
resolved there was no possible way that Doug could eat the pie on his own
and he found yet another use for his penknife and carved the pie into pieces
and handed it around to everyone. It is unclear whether or not there was any
left for Doug as the rest of us ate his pie heartily.
 This was
to be the last rigged pitch and, descending down a couple of short
freeclimbs, we found our way to the main underground river and sat ourselves
upon the bank to enjoy our food and hot drinks (except Doug whose planet
sized pie had been eaten already!).
 It was as
this point that John announced he had lost his glasses somewhere within the
system and also this point where Ian’s “egg & cress” sandwich was discovered
to be a “watercress sandwich”. The team
enjoyed a well earned rest of 10 minutes or so and we ate and drank until
our bellies were full and warm again.
 We set
off along the underground river with water no more than knee height until we
reached an impassable sump. Here we were to freeclimb upwards around
25 feet and it was resolved to send Doug up first so that he could attach
and drop his ladder to make life for the rest of us much easier. This he
dutifully complied with and we ascended one by one on his ladder.
A
dry
passage
of only
a couple hundred
feet then took us out
of the cave where we
popped out of the ground by our waiting vehicles at around 4pm.
In high
spirits we sorted ourselves out and headed for Bernies for sausage toasties
and tea.
After
once again filling our bellies we set off home and failed to even get onto
the M6 (Junction 34) due to a volume of traffic heading towards “Blackpool
illuminations” the likes of which no living man had ever seen. We headed
along the A6 instead with 5 million other drivers all doing the same thing
and arrived back home in Wales around 3-4 hours later.
A
fantastic trip!
Casualty
Report
1 rope
was severed and left
1 pair of glasses remain lost
1 egg & cress sandwich was reduced to sloppy paste
1 planet sized pork pie was destroyed
Click here for the YouTube Video
(Big thanks to Ian for the write up and pictures!)
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